Married Priests

We are in the midst of a global shortage of priests. There are many parts of this world where Catholics go months without being able to receive the sacraments only a priest can give. In the United States we are burning out our younger priests at an alarming rate because we require them to minister to three, four, or five parishes every week. Often times these parishes are many miles apart. Our priests are spending more time driving than they are in prayer.

We have seen the increased call to allow married men to be ordained priests. There is different rational behind this call. Some believe it will curb the sex abuse scandals from happening. They place a lot of importance on sex and can’t believe life can be lived to its fullest without it. This is the same mentality that leads our protestant brothers and sisters to believe that Mary wasn’t ever-virgin and must have had kids after Jesus. Others believe that it will increase vocations if man can be both a priest to a parish as well as a husband and father to a family.

We only need to look at how well the Christian religions that do allow married pastors are faring. Sex scandals have not decreased. Vocations have not increased. Divorce is prevalent. It seems that allowing married clergy is not the silver bullet we would hope it would be. What we don’t realize is what we would lose if we followed the world on this one.

No man can serve two masters. He will either love one and hate the other or serve one and neglect the other. Just ask any of the married clergy in the Church just how true that scripture verse is. Yes, we do have married priests in the Roman Catholic Church. There is an allowance made on a case-by-case basis to allow a married protestant pastor to be ordained a priest when they convert to Catholicism.

But we forget that the Church, at least in the United States, is full of married clergy. They are called deacons. I am a married man who has been ordained into the priesthood at the first level of deacon. I am considered a permanent deacon who will not transition to being ordained a priest because I am married. If my wife precedes me in death, it is possible for me to ordained a priest. Possible but not probable. One of my classmates did make this transition, but it was not easy for him. It took both a lot of work and a lot of the Holy Spirit to get him to his priestly ordination.

Matrimony and Holy Orders are the two sacraments of service Jesus gave to build up the Church. Each come with its own oath to the death, duties, and responsibilities. My diaconate director make it abundantly clear throughout my entire formation that my primary responsibility was to honor my first oath of matrimony. If, at any time, a conflict arose between family and diaconal life I was expected to hang up my stole and be husband and father first. I view things a bit different but come to the same conclusion. My marriage sacrament is temporary and for this world alone. It will end with the death of either my spouse or myself. My sacrament of Holy Orders is eternal and will follow me to the next life. That makes my sacrament of Holy Orders the greater sacrament. I am called to be deacon, but I am called to be deacon to my family first.

This is the same for married priests. They are priests forever but they are called to be a priest to their family first and where there is a conflict between family and parish the family takes priority. We do not know just how blessed we are to have single priests who can be there for us and our families in times of celebration and in times of trial. Our priests are free to visit parishioners in their homes. They are free to offer Mass daily and six times on Sundays. They are free to drive hundreds of miles a week to bring us the sacraments. They are free to run to the hospital at 3:00am to anoint the sick and dying.

All of that comes to an end when priests are married and have their own families to care for. How long will they be married if they spend every night of the week with a family not their own? How would you feel if a priest could not do your daughter’s wedding because he was away at his own son’s baseball game? How would the congregation react if a Sunday Mass is canceled because the celebrant had a sick child he had to care for and they couldn’t find a replacement in time? Having married priests do not give us more priests. It would give us priests who are less available to use. It would make the problems we are faced with worse.

Another thing we fail to realize is that if we allow for priests to be married and have families we would have to greatly increase their pay. They would not be able to stay in most rectories so they would have to obtain adequate housing. They would have to provide food, shelter, clothing, transportation, and all of the other things parents have to provide, for more than just themselves. We would expect priests to be Catholic and have larger families. This would mean that the parishioners all would have to contribute more. Much more. Unfortunately, we are seeing dioceses all over the country either combining parishes or outright closing parishes because the financial support for them just isn’t there. If parishioners refuse to financially support their parishes now, they certainly will not do so if required to double what they give so a priest can have a wife.

We need to ask ourselves why we have a priest shortage to begin with. It certainly isn’t because young men are turning away from the call because they want a wife and a family. Some do. I did once upon a time. No, we have a priest shortage solely because Catholics have stopped being Catholic. What? Do explain.

There was a time when you knew a family was Catholic because they had six or more children. Catholics are often criticized by non-Catholics because of their family size. When you have a large family in which there were three or four sons you were proud if one or two of them became priests. That was always a large catholic family’s dream, to have a priest in the family. It is the longing of every Catholic mother to have a son who became a priest and might one day go on to become Pope. Just ask Mildred Agnes Prevost, who beams down from heaven for her son Pope Leo.

Catholics today have been corrupted by the ways of the world. We no longer have large families. We put off children until later in life to pursue our wants and dreams first. We have bought into the lie that having a large family is irresponsible. The average Catholic family today is less than three children. Fathers want their name to be carried on for another generation and mothers want grandchildren more than they want a priest for a son. This has led the pool of men to draw from to dry up more than Lake Mead in a ten-year drought.

If there is any hope for the priesthood it isn’t in ordaining married men. It lies with Catholics acting like Catholics again and start accepting life as God wishes to give it. God wants to give us sons to whom he will call to the priesthood. He can’t call those we refuse to allow to be born.