Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time - Cycle A

First Reading - Ezekiel 33:7-9

Responsorial - Psalm 95: 1-9

Second Reading - Romans 13: 8-10

Alleluia Verse - 2 Corinthians 5:19

Gospel - Matthew 18:15-20

I am a gardener and I enjoy growing my own food. I have always wanted my own greenhouse. I began collecting old patio doors because the tempered glass of the doors makes the best greenhouse glass. I stacked these doors outside of my garage. When I had enough, I was going to construct my dream.

My garage was surrounded by blue spruce trees that hid my garage from view. These trees were big and old and I wanted to take them down. My neighbor across the street from me offered to take them down for free if he could have them for his wood burning fireplace. I considered it a win/win and let him have the trees.

Two weeks later I received a threat letter from the county. I called to see what the problem was. I was told that we all have that one neighbor who complains about what their neighbor’s property looks like. I was told I was not allowed to have “construction materials” outside of my garage and to move them inside. I knew which neighbor called me in. He was fine with it when he couldn’t see my garage, but after he took down the trees, he didn’t like what he saw.

I wrote each of my neighbors a letter apologizing for the state of my yard. I said in the letter that I don’t know what I did to make any of them think they could not come to me with their concerns. I would have happily worked with them to resolve the issue. The day the letter arrived in the mail every neighbor came by concerned about what had happened and to ensure me that it was not them who complained to the county. Every neighbor, of course, except the one who called me in.

We live in a society that has lost the ability to dialog civilly with each other. Social media has just exacerbated the problem one hundred-fold. We can hide behind our keyboards and really let loose on one another without fear of retaliation. He who yells the loudest for the longest wins the argument. We’d like to think this is a new problem but we can see that it was even happening even in the early Church.

Today’s gospel gives us the blueprint on how we are to deal with someone we have a problem with. If something is bothering you, go and talk to that person about it. If no understanding can be reached go and talk to them with two or three others. If you are still at a stalemate, then you take it to the Church. You don’t start at the top of the chain expecting someone else to do the work for you. The clergy is constantly bombarded with complaints that one parishioner has about another, or one ministry for another. We receive complaints for how something was or wasn’t done and we receive complaints about someone else’s homily. When we ask if they have talked to the person about what is bothering them the answer is almost always, “No, I thought you could do it.”

The worst of these are what I will refer to as, “Letters to the Bishop”. Sometimes we do something or say something so egregious that it prompts a person to write a letter directly to the bishop to inform him of our actions and demand something be done. Many times, the first we know that a problem exists is when we get a call from the bishop’s office requesting our presence.

Jesus is very clear when he says that this is not the way we are to deal with one another. We are to have sacrificial love for one another. We are to pray for one another and we are to forgive one another. In the Lord’s prayer we tell the Lord to only forgive us as much as we are willing to forgive others. When we allow hate into our hearts, when we hold grudges against those who wronged us, or when we hope that those who have offended us will get theirs, we are telling God not to forgive our sins either. You must be willing to forgive to be forgiven.

So, what do you do if someone has hurt you so badly that you simply cannot let go of the pain? Give Jesus permission to forgive the person for you and then ask that he heal your pain and soften your heart so you too may come to forgive them as he does.

Wherever two or three gather in Jesus’ name he is there in their midst. That is because wherever two or three gather there is the Church and Christ is always with his Church. He cannot dwell in a heart full of hate and malice. Learn to let go and be filled with the peace of Christ.

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